


I Know What It Looks Like (from the outside)

by unbelieve



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, Post-Episode: s02e17 Flash Back, Sort Of, continuation of that timeline??, it's literally just T for swearing sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24364615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbelieve/pseuds/unbelieve
Summary: In a continuation of the Flash Back timeline, the fact that Hartley's on their side doesn't make Cisco's life all that much easier. Neither does the vibe he gets that forces him to reconsider a lot of what he thinks he knows.
Relationships: Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	I Know What It Looks Like (from the outside)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Carly Rae Jepsen's "Boy Problems." This is a very serious work.

Cisco’s seen a lot of rough shit in his vibes. 

Nothing has ever topped Evil Wells shoving a hand through his chest and stopping his heart, and he really, really hopes nothing ever will, because no matter how long he lives and how much therapy he goes to he’s never quite going to be over that, but that apparently doesn’t give him a free pass to _not_ see more rough shit, because here he is, seeing it. 

The first thing he does after snapping out of the vibe is to immediately reconsider much of his life in light of new information. The second thing he does is to launch headfirst into a crisis, and the third is to start texting Barry before realizing that having a crisis standing up in his bedroom isn’t all that dramatic. He finishes his text to Barry laying facedown on the floor, and in the span of about two seconds, Barry’s there. It’s an underrated perk of being best friends with the Flash, honestly, and maybe a privilege he abuses, but sometimes it just feels warranted. 

“I’m here. What’s the emergency?”

“I had a vibe of another Earth.”

“Are we about to have to go there? Because I’m really gonna need to do some laundry real quick if that’s the case.”

“No.”

“Nobody’s coming here, are they?”

“Nope.”

“I’m running out of things we consider a crisis.”

“I had a vibe of me and Hartley from that other Earth, and we were married.”

“Married.” Of all the things Barry might have been expecting, this clearly hadn’t been one of them, a sentiment Cisco finds himself sharing.

“Yup,” Cisco says, popping the “p”. 

“You’re married on that Earth.”

“Yup.”

“To each other?” Barry asks, just to clarify. 

“Yup.”

Barry takes a seat on Cisco’s bed, kicking his feet. “Well, if it helps, I don’t think you’re in any danger of that happening on this Earth.”

“That’s the problem,” Cisco moans, sprawling a little more dramatically on the floor. “I’m not so sure anymore. I mean, I don’t think we’re gonna get married, but like-“ 

“What, you’re suddenly into him?”

“I don’t know.” Cisco rolls back to being completely facedown. 

“Your floor can’t be that clean.”

“It’s not,” Cisco says, muffled.

“You can have a crisis just as well not on the floor.”

“It doesn’t have the same flair, and you know it. Besides, if I die of laying on a dirty floor I don’t have to deal with maybe being attracted to Hartley Rathaway, and maybe possibly having been attracted to Hartley Rathaway since I met him and just repressing it a lot.”

“Oh. That’s...”

“Yeah, listen, I know. And if he was still super hateable, I’d never have to deal with it, but he’s getting less hateable, although I’d never tell him that to his face.”

“You guys still can’t go two minutes without insulting each other.”

“Yeah, but it’s different. Also, unless I’m losing my mind, which seems possible at this point, but sometimes it kind of feels like he’s flirting?”

“He does kind of just do that.”

“So, again, might be losing my mind.”

“I hope not, we kind of need you with your mind intact.”

Cisco lays flat for another minute and then says, “It was so... comfortable. Like, you know how Hartley has a thing about being touched? Among about eighty thousand other things he hates?”

“You were there the time he almost sonic blasted me for surprising him.”

“That was kind of funny, sorry. But honestly, even more so than the rings, somehow, the thing that really threw me off was like.... I put an arm around him and he leaned into it. Which is a really stupid thing saying it out loud because again, literally married on that Earth, presumably have done a lot more than that, oh my god, other Earth me has definitely had sex with Hartley Rathaway-”

“Cisco, you’re spiraling.”

“I said I was having a crisis, I’m gonna have my crisis.”

"Okay, fine, have your crisis."

"I can't tell if it's just the power of suggestion or what! Maybe this me isn't even remotely attracted to him and it's just the power of suggestion and tomorrow I'm gonna feel super stupid for even considering the possibility!"

"Well, no one's saying you have to do anything about it today. I mean, I could plan a ceremony if you really feel like just getting married to see what Other Earth Cisco was thinking-"

Cisco rolls over a little to glare up at him. "Don't even joke about that."

"The point is, you have time. Maybe try to have a conversation with him where you don't just insult each other."

"See, that's not really up to me, he starts it."

"You know I'm on your side with pretty much everything but it's definitely about fifty-fifty."

"Oh, sorry, has he suddenly replaced me as your best friend?"

"Spiraling again."

"I'm not gonna talk to him. I've repressed whatever this is for years, apparently, so I'm just gonna keep doing it until it goes away."

"Seems healthy."

"Healthier than telling Hartley fucking Rathaway I might like him!"

“I can’t tell you what to do, I guess, but can you at least try to keep things normal when we’re working? Not that I don’t support you in your crisis and all, but if I’m gonna be out fighting a meta, I need my team to be functional.”

“I’ll do my best.”

And in Cisco’s defense, he really does do his best. Keeping Barry alive is, after all, a cause near and dear to his heart, and one he doesn’t take lightly. It’s just that, as much as the Cisco of before might’ve joked about it being hard to even be in the same room as Hartley, it’s become a difficult thing to do for very different reasons. He keeps noticing things, tiny things he never had a reason to pay attention to before, like the fact that Hartley holds a pen really badly, actually, or the way it seems like he might be growing his hair out a little more than normal and it definitely kind of suits him. 

He tries to block it all out, he does, but it turns out that “There’s a version of you that loves Hartley Rathaway enough to promise the rest of your life to him” is a really difficult thing to stop thinking about, even if you’re supposed to be working on suit repairs because Barry can’t stop damaging the poor thing even when you ask him very nicely. 

He almost asks Barry to get him to the other Earth, once. Whatever it is that Other Earth Cisco sees in his Hartley, Cisco wants to see it too, because at least it might make things make sense. Maybe Hartley’s different on that Earth. Maybe he’d been betrayed a few less times, or maybe he’d been nicer to start with, or maybe there’s some fundamental way in which they’re both different and it all makes more sense. 

If he really believed that, he would’ve found a way to go talk to that other Cisco, but if he’s honest with himself, he doesn’t believe it. Aside from the shock of the whole thing, a lot about the scene in the vibe had felt right, down to the way the apartment was decorated- plenty of things that were visibly Cisco’s decor style, which is to say, nerd shit, interspersed with things that he wouldn’t have chosen but he could easily see Hartley picking. It had looked like the kind of place they would’ve made together. 

So flat-out denial isn’t working as well as he’d hoped, which is a bummer, and talking to Hartley is still not an option, because there can’t be a timeline where that ends well, so all Cisco really has to work with is trying even harder to ignore him and hoping for the best. 

Hartley, as it turns out, is not great with being ignored, which is something Cisco really should have accounted for. Recently, his insults had been getting a little less biting, something Cisco had mostly attributed to them being in proximity for long enough that Hartley had started to run out of ideas, but apparently that hadn't been the case. They're back now, and the longer Cisco ignores them, the worse they get. It starts with a piece of soldering on his latest project that, admittedly, isn’t his best work, then that day’s shirt, then his hair, then his college degrees, then back to his hair, until after four days Cisco snaps. 

“Don’t you have something important to be doing? Or unimportant? I don’t give a shit, just- literally anything else?”

“Oh, so you still talk.”

“I do still talk, actually, I just don’t talk to you.”

“I’m hurt, Cisquito. Is there a reason you won’t talk to me?”

Cisco rolls his eyes at Hartley’s mock-wounded expression. “Because you’re a dick.”

“Well, that’s not new, but it’s never stopped you before, so what’s the actual reason?”

“That is the reason. Finally realized it wasn’t worth arguing with you.”

“You lying to me isn’t a lot of fun for either of us,” Hartley says, and something in his tone manages to be so thoroughly obnoxious that Cisco cracks like a fucking glowstick. 

“I had a vibe of another Earth where we were married, and it’s really kind of throwing me off, dude, okay?”

So that successfully shuts Hartley up, and Cisco’s not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s definitely a thing that’s happening. 

“ _Married_ , married?” Hartley says, a little faintly, a strong contender for one of the stupider things Cisco’s heard him say. 

“Unless wearing rings on your left ring finger means something different on whatever Earth that was, yeah, married married.”

“It could. It’s not like we know a lot about other Earth customs-”

“It didn’t. Trust me on this.”

Hartley opens his mouth, closes it, and then after a couple seconds says, “Well, that’s interesting and all, but that’s not this Earth’s us, so I’m getting back to work.”

It should just be a complete shutdown. Clearly, Hartley’s trying to make it one, a definite end to the conversation and a sign that they should never talk about it again, but it doesn’t quite work. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s just a little off-kilter, turning a little too quickly when he goes to walk away and narrowly avoiding the corner of the worktable, but Hartley’s not unaffected by the whole thing. Normally, Cisco would consider that a win. He’s only seen Hartley really thrown off a couple times, and he treasures every memory, but this one is a hollow victory when he himself isn’t doing much better. 

It reaches a standoff. They just don’t talk, both doing their best to keep out of the same room when they don’t absolutely have to both be present for Flash business, and it stops Hartley’s insults, but this isn’t entirely painless either. 

The rest of the team indulges it for about a day and a half, maybe unwilling to get between them. It’s a matter of luck that there aren’t any major crises in that time, but as Hartley’s coming back from a trip to the hardware store that was definitely unavoidable and absolutely not a piece he could’ve waited to order online, he finds that they’ve run out of patience. 

Barry corners him before he can get back to his workspace, corralling him into a storeroom, and while there are versions of Hartley who would’ve been excited by the possibilities this incited, this isn’t one of them. 

“I do have work to do, Barry.”

Barry ignores him. “Is there a reason you and Cisco aren’t speaking?”

“He stopped talking to me first.”

“Really? ‘He started it?’”

“Well, he did.”

“Nothing to do with the fact that you went back to being super harsh to him.”

“Only because he wasn’t talking to me.”

“You’re way too old for this, you know that, right?”

“If I promise to play nice, can I go back to doing my job?” Hartley tries to make it sound at least a little bit sincere. 

“Look, Cisco said he told you what he saw. I think if it didn’t affect you in some way, you wouldn’t be avoiding him.”

“What exactly is it you’re suggesting?”

“I’m saying that Cisco likes you. And I kind of think you feel the same way.”

He says it like it should be a revelation, and Hartley almost laughs at that. It’s not like he’s not self-aware enough to know his own feelings, to have known his own feelings since the moment he untangled the complicated knot of their beginning. He knows. That might have been Cisco’s problem, but it’s not his. “It doesn’t matter what I feel, what matters is that nothing should ever happen between us.”

“Why not? He likes you, I think you like him, that should be all that matters.” 

“Because Cisco is a good person, and I’m not, really. And that’s not even about how many buildings we’ve destroyed, or how many diamond stores we’ve seriously considered robbing at low points in our lives, even to the point of having a plan-”

Barry frowns, making a “go back” gesture. “Wait, what?”

“Barry, I said it’s not about that, keep up. What it’s _about_ is that I am not a very good person, and I don’t deserve to be loved the way Cisco Ramon loves people.”

“Okay, I do have questions about the diamond store thing, but we’ll talk about that later-”

“No, we really won’t.”

“-but what I’m _trying_ to say is that you’re not a bad person. Bad people don’t spend this much time helping save the world.”

Hartley snorts. “It’s not really the world, it’s mostly just Central City, and I live here too, it could just be self-serving.”

“You said ‘could,’ so it’s clearly not, and besides, it doesn’t matter whether you deserve it or whatever, the point is he likes you too.”

“We really can’t seem to agree on what the point is, can we?”

“If you stop deflecting for thirty seconds, will it literally kill you?”

“Maybe. Let’s not find out.” Hartley turns to leave, and Barry zips in front of him. 

“Just talk to Cisco. Let him make his own choice instead of trying to make it for him.”

"Fine. Will that make everyone happy?"

"Happier than you two acting like children? Yeah."

"Children are better behaved than him."

"Hartley."

Hartley half-shrugs. "Habits die hard."

"Just... be nice. Don't crush him if you're rejecting him, okay?"

Hartley throws him a look. “Even I’m not that terrible of a person.”

Barry has to let him go at that, because a consequence of telling someone they’re a better person than they think they are is that you can’t immediately turn around and contradict yourself. 

Cisco looks up when Hartley re-enters the lab, then turns his attention back to his workbench. "Look, if you're going to mock me, or whatever, can you get it out of the way in under a minute? I feel like that's all I have the emotional capacity for right now."

"I'm not here to mock you, or whatever. I...” Hartley trails off, then shakes his head and starts over. “There's a possibility that I... feel the same way. About you. And have, for quite a while."

Cisco has, to this point in his life, avoided being hit by a ton of bricks, and he’s hoping to keep that streak, but he’s pretty sure this is what it would feel like. He looks up, scanning Hartley’s expression for any sign that he’s joking. "You’ve never said anything.”

"And I was never planning to.”

“What changed?”

“Talking to Barry did actually force me to do some reconsidering.”

“For a guy who refused to say anything about his own feelings for, like, a decade, he’s doing surprisingly well at that.”

“I was a little shocked, yes.”

“So... you like me.”

“If you want to sound like a twelve year old about it, yes.”

“Sometimes when people like someone, they’re actually nice to them.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how concerned would you have been that I’d been replaced by a potentially evil doppelganger if I’d started being nice to you?”

So, okay, maybe Hartley knows him well. “Alright, you make a fair point, but still.”

“Fine. I’ll be nice. Everything I’ve ever said about you being a bad engineer was bullshit, I admire your creativity and the fact that you always manage to follow through on it, you’re one of the most sincerely good people I’ve ever known, and I admire your dedication to your friends.”

It takes Cisco a second to find his voice again after that. “Okay, yeah, definitely would’ve thought that was a doppelganger without context.”

“Exactly.”

“ _But_ that doesn’t mean I didn’t like hearing it.” Cisco hesitates for a second, then asks something he’s been wondering, “Did you actually hate me, way back when we met, or was that something else?”

Hartley considers for a second. “I wanted to hate you.”

“Thanks.”

“I wasn’t sure I could survive not being Wells’ favorite, given... given everything, and he brought you in, and suddenly my place wasn’t secure anymore. How would you have felt?”

“I guess not great.”

“Exactly.”

“Now that I think about it, he probably wanted us to hate each other. How fast would we have figured out about the accelerator if we’d gotten along?”

“He chose well if that was his plan, you did show up that first day looking appallingly unprofessional.”

“It didn’t undermine my credentials, you’re just elitist.”

“Hmm.”

“Tell me I’m wrong, though.”

“It does make sense.”

“Wow, is this what getting along feels like? Are you going to tell me you don’t actually hate my hair next?”

Hartley deliberately avoids eye contact, but his face goes a little red. 

Cisco doesn’t even try to restrain the glee in his voice. “Oh my god, what a plot twist. You like my hair, and I’m never going to let this go.”

“I take back every nice thing I said.”

“Nope, too late. You think my hair is attractive, and I’m never going to let that go.”

Hartley comes around the work table, stopping a breath away. “Counterpoint: leave me alone and kiss me.”

Cisco does weigh his options for about half a second, but he figures there will be plenty of opportunities to ruin Hartley’s life later. His hands go to Hartley’s waist, and he leans in and kisses him. 

The first kiss is soft and sweet, as much an experiment as anything. Then there’s a breath, a second where they’re looking at each other with the whole rest of the world quiet, and then Cisco’s hand is on Hartley’s cheek and Hartley’s hands are in Cisco’s hair and they’re kissing again, and all too soon they’re both breathless.

It’s a good thing Cisco knows Hartley’s a bastard, because when he recovers enough air to ask, “What kind of wedding ring did the other version of me have?” in a tone that already implies judgment, it’s really barely even a surprise. 

“I’m not sure it was a metal that exists here. Kind of silvery, though.”

“Hmm. On this Earth, I’m more of a gold kind of person. In case that ever becomes relevant.”

“Oh my g- listen, if it ever becomes relevant, you’re picking out your own damn ring, okay?”

“I’m fine with that. One of us has to have taste.”

“I really don’t like you.”

Hartley grins. “But you do.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Cliche,” Cisco says, and then leans in to kiss Hartley anyway. 

They don’t fit together with the practiced ease of the versions of themselves he’d seen on that other Earth, don’t know each other by feel in that way that only people who have loved each other for years know one another, but it’s a pretty good start. They’ve got time.

**Author's Note:**

> craptaincold dot tumblr dot com I'd die for you thanks for bullying me into finishing this


End file.
